WHY?

Until now, I can't seem to figure out why I have to exert so much effort to please those people who were never there for me during the most difficult time of my life? And why do I have this feeling that if I will not be able to please them, I will lose that one dream which I've wanted to achieve ever since - and that is a FAMILY WHICH I CAN CALL MY OWN?

Maybe you're confused as to what I'm talking about right now. Anyhow, I won't share the details, I just want to express what I'm feeling.

I am so outraged. Why? Because no matter what I do, it seems that no one has ever really appreciated me. Why does it seem that I'm in a competition of some sort, while in fact it was me who is being tried to win back? You see, what happened now is the other way around. It seems that it is me now who needs to exert so much effort to ensure that I will have a complete family in the end. And if my effort is not enough, I will be abandoned just like before.

Darn, why does s*it always have to happen?