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Thursday, June 12, 2008

On Long Distance Relationship PART I

I have never really given our long distance relationship much thought until I read this post entitled "Long Distance Relationships - Do They Work?" written by a young Christian guy from Ireland. According to him, "long distance relationships suck". And I partly agree.

For those who still don't know, Papa Ghie and I are living in different countries right now. I've just known him through the Internet last May 2006. A friend of mine introduced him to me, but not like in the traditional manner, "Phoebe meet Ghie or Ghie meet Phoebe". He just gave me Ghie's yahoo messenger id and so I added him to my list. At first, we didn't talk often, just a simple hi or hello when he happens to see me online (since it's me who's online most of the time). But later on, I just found myself confiding in him and he confiding in me. After almost a year of chatting, he decided to take a vacation and came home to meet me. And so, the rest is history.

Moving on, for almost 2 years now, we are in a long distance relationship. Although the baby in between is here now, still she's not enough reason for us not to have petty quarrels and sometimes nerve-wracking-which-almost-lead-to-total-breakup arguments. Long distance relationship really sucks, AS IN TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL. Let me share to you some things here to justify why I said so:

1. During petty fights, I can't embrace him or kiss him so he won't get mad anymore. Same with him, whenever I'm mad, he finds it hard to make me calm down compared if he's here on which he can simply crack a funny joke, make that funny face, or tickle me just to make me smile instead.

2. When we achieve something, like for example he got a salary increase or I did, we never get the chance to celebrate it together - a dinner treat for instance or a nice weekend getaway. We're contented on saying congrats through voice chat or putting nice comments on our Friendster account.

3. When discussing problems (re: family, friends, financial, and goals), sometimes it leads to heated argument. It's hard to explain and discuss serious issues by simply chatting or talking on voice chat.

4. Absence during special occasions such as birthday, Christmas, and New Year makes me curse the long distance relationship that we are in. We feel the same way when we see families celebrating together during these times. With us, we're contented seeing each other on webcam as we celebrate with our peers and families near us.

5. In times like transferring to a new home or doing housework which is supposedly done by a man, I can't help but envy other women whose husbands are around to do those chores for them. Same with him, he has no other choice but to wash his clothes and prepare his meals for himself.

The list could actually go on and on. But I decided to just limit it to 5 since I've already made my point why long distance relationship sucks. I'm sure other couples who are also in a long distance relationship experience the very same things that I shared here. But you know what, there are also cons in this type of relationship. As to what they are, I'd just reserve them in my coming posts.