I hate to think that I'm on a struggle right now. As much as possible, I want to be positive about life. But I don't know where or how to start. I'm so overwhelmed with problems - as to what are those, I'd rather keep them to myself.
When my husband was here, he kept telling me that I worry too much, or that I think too much. He wanted me to smile even on a bad day, and loosen up when things seem too hard to handle. I managed to do that when he was here. But now that he's not, it seems as if I've been carrying all these problems myself.
I don't want to blame him; although I know, part of these problems that I'm facing right now are aftermath of his doings. He wanted to satisfy his wants, but at the same time he wanted to please others and for them to be happy. I don't have anything against the actions that he made, after all I tolerated them. But then now, I feel as if the negative results are all coming back to me. All just to me.
He doesn't know about my struggles, I don't want him to know. But I just hope he'd be sensitive enough to notice that something is bothering me. And that instead of adding to it, he'd made it lighter for me.
Now, it's just me here to resolve all these problems. Alone, indeed. But I can manage, I'm sure I will.
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