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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Just Me Ranting

I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. I'm not sure if this is anger or mere disappointment. I thought I'd be able to get back on track of budgetting our finances beginning this month. But it seems it's far from real again. Honestly, I don't know how to handle them myself anymore. I just want to cry and cry right now because I feel so helpless. In spite of the added income that I bring in to this family, still everything does not suffice.

In just a few months time, I'll be having yet another baby. Before I was super excited, but now I'm beginning to doubt if I made the right choice of bringing "him" to this world during this very difficult phase of our life. Just thinking about the added expenses that this pregnancy and delivery carry, I can't help but say, "If only I could turn back time..."

I don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I would start feeling pity for myself, but I just try to disregard it because I know it won't help. I just keep saying that, in God's time, I'll be able to overcome these all. I don't want to blame anybody why I'm in this deep trouble because in the first place I tolerated it. So, the least that I can do now is to promise myself that next time, I'll learn how to say NO!


Melanie said...

Maybe it is just the hormones Phoebs. Always think that GOD gave you the baby because this is another blessings in your life. When the time comes, you can overcome it. I felt the same thing...with the mortgage and the new baby coming...but then GOD gave her to us...Im sure He will find a way for us too. Have faith you can do it !

chubskulit said...

Phoebs, everything is happeening for a reason.. We been through a lot like this but we never give up nor regret that we have another one added to our family. Be glad that Gopd blessed you with precious gifts that money can't buy.. Cheer up, i agree with Melanie, hormones lang yan..

Beth said...

Yes everything happens for a reason. I believe you will overcome this feeling. I've been in this situation time and again and I know the feeling. Just pray and with faith, you will see this through.
Keep the faith Phoebe! :)

Phoebe said...

@Melanie @chubskulit @Beth thanks a lot Mommies for your uplifiting comments. Yup, maybe because of the hormones nga..It's just that sometimes kasi I feel as if I'm so overwhelmed with problems na and I don't know what to do anymore. Yung tipong, ur doing everything pero kulang pa rin.

I'm also hoping that I'll overcome these problems soon. Really soon...