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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Some Space...I Need a Break

I badly need a break right now. I feel so stressed out. I can hardly breath. I've been carrying these problems for so long now. And this baby here inside me is the one suffering more.

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I love my husband, I love my kids, I love my work, and I love this baby. But I'm having a hard time doing the best for my husband, for my kids, for my work, and for this baby because I hardly feel that love for myself. I need some "me" time. Ever since I got pregnant, all I ever think of are the expenses for the delivery, the monthly amortization, the bills, the extra work for extra income, the stuff needed for the house, and the kids' needs. No time for myself, not even a day.

I want out of this pregnancy soon. It restricts me from spending time for myself. Now, my daily routine is work-home-work-home. I could not even go out with friends on weekends, much more do some shopping because we hardly got the extra cash to do that.

I am happy that I'm having this baby boy, no doubt about that. But I'm not too happy about my life now. I'm being enslaved by my vulnerable side again. And I don't like it, not at all. So, I guess, some space will help. Hopefully!

2 comments:

shydub said...

Ohh I feel you phebz, ilang weeks nalng lalabas din yan baby. Its the hormone taking all your emotions right now. When I was preggers with my jake, palagi akong nang aaway sa asawa ko, mas mahirap yan sayo kasi nasa work asawa mo. Preho tayo wala ng me time,ang pera nasa mga bills lahat napupunta, nakakastress.
Thanks nga pala sa comments, ang anka ko rin dada first words kahit tayo kaharap araw araw, tapos parang mocking or laro ang tunog sa mama,pag binigkas.
Takecare mommy phebz for you and your baby, go to the mall magshopping ka para mawala lungkot mo.

Phoebe said...

hi mommy shydub. tnx s comment. perhaps its the hormones nga. pero i'm getting tired talaga taking all the stress. minsan, kahit anong iwas ko, wag mastress tlgang yung asawa ko ang magpaparamdam at mghahanap ng away. ang hirap kasi malayo n nga sia, ala n nga sia d2 pra alalayan ako s panganganak ko, he's making everything so hard for me.

sometimes i want to let go na kasi nahihirapan n tlga ako. pero iniisip ko mga bata. kya sbi ko, palagpasin ko lang tong pagbuntis ko, then thats the time i'll make that decision kasi bka nga sa hormones lang.